I've been after my human for the longest time to make me a place that I can use for an office since I need a space that is all mine where I can do my writing. So far, my writing stuff has been spread out all over my house. Some of it was in the tom human's library where his computer is. Some of it was in tote bags that my human carries around with her everywhere she goes. Some of it was in folders that take up more space than I do, tucked away here and there around the house. Everywhere I looked, or tried to sit down, there was a folder or a tote bag of my notes. Most of it, however, has been piled up in my bedroom. My human had a desk in there that was COVERED with folders. She has to take down everything that I say, put that note in a folder, then she forgets where she put them. It was such a mess. They are always falling off the desk and the tom human always blames me for it (as if I would want my precious work on the floor!). I have to sit on them on occasion just to make sure that they stay put. The tom human never picks them up, just fusses at my human, telling her to do something about them (it’s not like there’s any room for her to do anything with them but put them right back on the desk). There isn’t even any room for a filing cabinet, much less anything else in that room (my bed takes up most of the room along with some silly stuff that the humans have to have in there, like a lamp and a clock and a place to put there clothes -- if they had fur they wouldn't need all that junk, but humans are deficient in that respect too).

I’m sure you agree with me, I desperately need an office of my own (or a new house with a large office just for me). I know that I can't talk the tom human into buying another house (I have been trying), so it’s going to have to be an office of my own. Let’s see . . . the perfect office for me . . . hmm . . . It should have a large desk for the computer and a chair, preferably with a hard seat, for my human to sit on. The desk has to be big enough for a nice soft pillow for me so that I can stretch out and be comfortable while I’m writing. Of course, it has to be positioned so that I can look over my translator’s shoulder and make sure that she is putting in everything that I tell her -- I can’t have her going off on her own because when she does that, it gets all mixed up and comes out wrong. VERY WRONG!! I won't tell you just how often that I have had to go back and redo something. Naturally, I have to do this AFTER she has quit and gone to bed (and she wonders why I don't come to bed sooner -- I'm not telling her and neither are you). I know how to use the computer but I prefer to let her to do it. That way, she feels as if she is contributing. Of course, it's really nice to have a secretary. She may be a little slow, but what the heck, I've got her a little bit trained.

Back to my office. It should have lots of shelves for reference books and room for me to curl up and nap when necessary. Sometimes, looking at words from a different angle helps (especially upside down which is the best way to do it) – my editor would tell you it’s all in the perspective. Anyway . . . I like lounging with my head down because it drives my translator batty (which is the only reason I do it), especially if I'm on top the computer when I do it. She says that she can't see through me and I’m making her nutty (it doesn’t take make – hehehehe).

In my office there would be lots of file cabinets for all the folders that are strung out all over the house (I have counted over fifty, but I got bored and stopped counting). It would be nice if they were all in one place so that I could re-read them and cull her ideas (after all, it’s supposed to be my writing). I would definitely need a snack area close by so that I wouldn’t have to leave my writing, not to mention my translator, for more than a few minutes at any time. Unfortunately, once my human gets up, she’s gone and trying to get her back to work at the computer is next to impossible. Her mind wanders off in all sorts of strange directions and then she forgets what she was doing last (sometimes I wonder about her -- are all humans like my two? Gosh, I hope not!!).

Where were we? Oh yes, my office. It should also have a door that shuts since I don't want any of the nerds coming in. That way, they wouldn't be able to purloin my snacks , nor would they be able to distract my human, taking her away from my work (when one of the nerds comes close, she stops what she's doing and picks it up and cuddles it for HOURS on end and that's NOT the way to get my work done). I tell her to ignore them. I tell her it’s bad for them to think she’ll pick them up for a cuddle whenever they want, but . . . as I’ve mentioned before, she never listens to me. Seems that she loves them too (oh brother). Anyway, with doors the office would be warm in winter and cool in summer. A window for me to look out of would be nice too. That way I could keep any eye on all that happens. I also like to watch the birds and the ducks and the running drum sticks (someday, I know that I will catch one -- I can taste it now -- sigh). But I know this is just a dream -- an office of my own – but what a nice dream.

Talk about a waking nightmare. YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST HEARD!!!! The tom human is going to enclose part of the back porch for a "sewing room" for my human!!! Doesn't that beat all? I mean, she needs a sewing room like I need another nerd to look after!! Can you believe that? I've been slaving away for months and months around here trying to get a writing studio for me and NOW he's going to build her (my human) a sewing room! Then to tell me he expects me to help! Get real! He has got to be kidding! There is no way I’m going to help. I won't even watch. I won’t be anywhere around. I can't believe that he would do this to me. ME! ME who sleeps with him at night and keeps his head warm (he has so little hair on his head that there isn’t even enough to cover my paw – oops, I didn't say that). I purr him to sleep most nights (actually, I make sure that I touch both my humans at night). I work my tale off trying to . . . He is so ungrateful!!

I have had to listen to lots of hammering and sawing lately coming form the back porch area. I refused to look out to see what's going on. I hear the humans talking about it ALL the time. My human is so excited abut it that she’s NOT working on my stuff at all. She's not taking dictation from me or even listening to me when I have a tale to tell her. She's not sitting still sot that I can curl up in her lap for a nice long snooze after a session of listening to me give her notes. She's not writing down anything I say. I would say I'm not sure what's gotten into her lately, but we all know how untrue that would be. She’s too wrapped up in her new “sewing room”. I decided not to listen to her when SHE wants to tell me about it. I have ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST in the “sewing room” at all!!!!! As a matter of fact, I turn around and go in the opposite direction when she starts talking about it. Then, to top it all off, she has been telling everything to that long, tall, skinny, blue bag of bones. She has even started carrying him around all of the time now. She doesn't even care if I sleep with her anymore. She's ignoring me. She's giving HIM all the attention now. And I made him my deputy! I know that it’s only been about a month, but still, I don't understand. I thought that she loved me? I thought that I was top purrperson. (Sigh.........)

Another long week has passed. Another week of being ignored. Another week of HER putting HIM first. I'm not sleeping, not eating, not doing my job. I wonder if I could go and live with the ginger haired lady again?

You WON'T believe what just happened!! SHE PICKED ME UP. MY HUMAN cuddled me close to her and said all sorts of sweet nothings in my ear. She took me out to the back porch and the first thing that I saw was the BLUE door. I LOVE blue! She carried me in and put me on a soft pillow on a desk with a computer and lots of shelves and file cabinets and . . . IT'S EVERYTHING THAT I EVER DREAMED ABOUT. I GOT MY OFFICE. She said that she wanted to surprise me. She did. I LOVE MY NEW OFFICE!!! I don't care that she put a FEW of her sewing things in it. It’s still MY OFFICE!! WOW!! I love it. It’s all mine and mine alone.